viewtopic.php?p=92734#p92734

Just for shits, I'm going to ask for one or two critiques on this. Take your time, though; I'm doing this strictly for the Hell of it.

Not bad.

It's wound a little tight at times and that toys with the consistency but, without talking like I have an inflated ego, it's way better than the average post you'd find around these parts.

It sort of plays like a movie, too. I like that. Cut out the useless detail and just go for the goal: you did a pretty good job there. Everything flows together scene to scene without any distractions, which are usually thoughts and background details that A.) Have nothing to do with the story and are simple paragraph fillers and, B.) I don't give a shit about.

Good ending. Like a real book. I'm a fan of closing with dialogue.

I appreciate that, Richard. Thanks for reading it!